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OCUPAYSHUN:
"CENSUS TAKER"
I am a cencus taker for the city of
Bufflow. Our city has groan very fast in resent years and now in 1865, it has
become a hard and time consuming job to count all the peepill. There are not
many that con do this werk, as it is nesessarie to have an ejucashun, wich a lot
of pursons still do not have.
Anuther atribeart needed for this job is gud spelling, for meny of the pepill to
be counted can hardlee speek inglish, let alon spel thare names.
If
Your Family Tree Doesn't Fork
Many many years ago when I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter
Who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.
Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She's my grandmother too.
If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.
For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa!
(Author Unknown)
"THE
ELUSIVE ANCESTOR"
I
went searching for an ancestor ...
I cannot find him still,
He moved around from place to place
And did not leave a will.
He married where a courthouse burned,
He mended all his fences;
He avoided any man
Who came to take the U.S. Census.
"The
Bible"
I
hold in my hands a treasure so rare,
I close my eyes and imagine I'm there,
When she wrote each name with care,
Not knowing with me some day she'd share.
Could she have known what a jewel it would be?
That it would be something I waited to see?
That one hundred years later the Bible I'd hold,
That in it's pages more that God's story is told.
I imagine she was proud of her family,
For what greater gift could there be,
Did she imagine the family to come?
That I would be from the family of her son?
This family heirloom I will handle with care,
So that in another hundred years it will be there,
For my great-great-grandchildren may it be,
A gift they are searching for to add to the family tree.
~
Author unknown ~
"If
You Could See
Your Ancestors"
If
you could see your ancestors,
All standing in a row,
Would you be proud of them,
Or don't you really know?
Some strange discoveries are made
In climbing family trees;
And some of them, you know,
Do not particularly please.
If you could see your ancestors,
All standing in a row,
There might be some of them, perhaps,
You wouldn't care to know.
But there's another question
Which requires a different view ...
If you could "meet" your
ancestors,
Would they be proud of you?
~
Author Unknown ~
"The
23rd Psalm for Genealogists"
Genealogy
is my Pastime ...
I shall not stray,
It
maketh me to lie down
and examine half-buried Tombstones;
It
leadeth me into still Courthouses.
It restoreth my Ancestral Knowledge;
It
leadeth me into the Paths of Census Records
and Ships Passenger Lists for my Surnames' sake;
Yes,
though I wait through the Shadows
of Research Libraries and Microfilm Readers,
I
shall fear no Discouragment,
for a Strong Urge is with me.
The
curiosity and Motivation,
they Comfort me;
It
demandeth preparation of Storage Space
for the Aquisition of Countless Documents;
It
anointeth my Head with burning Midnight Oil,
My Family Group Sheets runneth over.
Surely
Birth, Marriage and Death dates
shall follow me all the Days of my Life,
And
I shall dwell in the House
of a Family History Seeker Forever.
~
Author Unknown ~
Beatitudes Of A Family
Genealogist
Blessed
are the great-grandmothers,
who hoarded newspaper clippings and old letters ...
For they tell the story of their time.
Blessed
are all grandfathers who filed every legal document ...
For this provides proof.
Blessed
are grandmothers who preserved
family Bibles and diaries ...
For this is our heritage.
Blessed
are fathers who elect officials
that answer letters of inquiry ...
For some ... they are the only link to the past.
Blessed
are mothers who relate family traditions and legends
to the family ...
For one of her children will surely remember.
Blessed
are the relatives who fill in family sheets
with extra data ...
For them we owe the family history.
Blessed
is any family whose members strive
for the preservation of records ...
For theirs is a labor of love.
Blessed
are the children who will never say ...
"Grandma, you have told that old story twice today."
Source:
Prairieland Pioneer, Prairieland Genealogical Society,
Summer 1995 Edition
One Liners
******Read on at your own risk.
Humor of this type has been known to stunt the growth of children and small
animals in laboratory tests.******
The only thing I know for sure is that I
come from a long line of dead people.
Can a first cousin, once removed, return?
Cemetery: (n) A marble orchard not to be
taken for granite.
Crazy.... is a relative term in MY
family.
Genealogy: Chasing your own tale!
Genealogy: It's all relative in the end
anyway.
Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to
better people.
I trace my family history so I will know
who to blame.
It's hard to be humble with ancestors
like mine!
Searching for lost relatives? Win the
Lottery!
That's strange; half my ancestors are
WOMEN!
Do I even WANT ancestors? Some I found I
wish I could lose.
Every family tree has some sap in it.
FLOOR: (n) The place for storing your
priceless genealogy records.
Friends come and go, but relatives tend
to accumulate.
Genealogists live in the past lane.
Genealogists never die, they just lose
their roots.
Genealogy: A hay stack full of needles.
It's the threads I need.
Genealogy: Collecting dead relatives and
sometimes a live cousin!
Genealogy: Where you confuse the dead and
irritate the living.
Heredity: Everyone believes in it until
their children act like fools!
I looked at my family tree...there were
two dogs using it.
I think my family tree is a few branches
short of full bloom.
Life is lived forwards, but understood
backwards.
My ancestors are hiding in a witness
protection program.
My family tree is a few branches short!
Research: What I'm doing, when I don't
know what I'm doing.
Take nothing but ancestors, leave nothing
but records.
Theory of relativity: If you go back far
enough, we're all related.
-Author(s) Unknown!
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